


Silent All These Years

by dbzkink



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Coming Out, Drunkenness, Gay, Gay Sex, Love, M/M, Romance, Smut, supportive dads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:40:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29149101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dbzkink/pseuds/dbzkink
Summary: Goten is trying to make a life for himself, but Trunks's constant inebriation is causing him problems.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Son Goku/Vegeta, Bulma Briefs/Vegeta, Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Trunks Briefs/Son Goten
Comments: 53
Kudos: 37





	1. Sobriquets

“Look, buddy, can you come get him or not? He won’t give me his keys because he’s drunk enough that he says he flew here. You guys text all the time, so I figured better you than,” the bartender snorted, laughed, and continued, “The Prince of All Saiyans, whoever the hell that is, or Bra, who I assume is his girlfriend, talk about objectifying, or his mom. And you four are pretty much the only ones he texts. And occasionally The Clown, but that definitely seemed like a bad option, because he’s already a fucking clown he’s so drunk.”

“How am I listed in his phone?” Goten asked, curious.

“Some gibberish foreign word I can’t read, that’s why I just asked if you’re friends with a jacked, purple-haired drunk. He’s not belligerent or anything, he’s just…sad…but I gotta close up shop and I swear, his weight is unnatural. I can’t even budge him. He doesn’t look that heavy, but man alive, it’s like he’s glued to my bar with all his tears.”

“He’s crying?!” Goten squeaked, “Okay, I’ll be right there—“

“Okay, it’s on the—“

“I’ll find it. Give me a couple minutes,” Goten said, launching out his apartment window.

“What, but I didn’t even tell you—“

Goten hung up. The bar wasn’t that far, so Goten made it in under a minute without even breaking the sound barrier. He strolled in and said, “Hey, oh yeah, you weren’t kidding, he’s a wreck.”

“Hot fucking hell, how did you get here so fast?! I didn’t even tell you where he was!” the bartender squawked.

Goten thought fast and held up his phone. “He…does this a lot…so I have him trackable. The minute you called, I looked where he was. Luckily I live not too far away.”

The bartender eyed him suspiciously, but Trunks saved them both, blearily slurring, “‘Ten?!” Trunks couldn’t even lift his head off the bar.

“Hey man, you close your tab yet?” Goten asked, strolling over to his alcohol-soaked best friend.

“No, he hasn’t, because he kept insisting I give him another,” the bartender said, narrowing his eyes at Trunks.

“Oh, yeah, at a certain point, he just gets sure another drink will make him less drunk,” Goten said, laughing, and helping Trunks to his feet, “How are you a genius and yet you keep doing this?”

The bartender turned a touch screen toward Goten. Goten’s eyebrows shot up at the total. “Fuck, Trunks, how much you want to tip?”

“Like…like…like one-hundred percent, ‘Ten. He was very nice to me. So nice. And he called you, instead of my dad, so that’s extra, so like one-hundred-twenty percent. So two-sixty-eight, you can just round, just two-seventy.”

“I love that you can do math faster than me even when completely soused,” Goten said and poked in the number and lifted Trunks’s arm so he could sign with his fingertip.

“You love me?” Trunks said, his eyebrows crumpling together with such hope that Goten wondered how drunk his friend was. Trunks had been lonely lately and Goten knew he’d been striking out dating, but it still stung to hear him say it. Goten loved Trunks, his beautiful drunken ass wasn’t wrong about that, but not in the way Trunks meant. 

Goten loved Trunks. He was besotted with Trunks. He dreamed of Trunks loving him back. Not best friend love. Real love. Storybook love. Song love. He smiled at his inebriated crush and said, “Of course I love you, you dumbass. Let’s get you home.”

Goten thanked the bartender with a wave and wrapped an arm around Trunks’s chest to hoist him up. It wasn’t hard, but he saw the bartender’s eyes widen. The man must have really tried to lift Trunks. Saiyans were ridiculously heavy compared to humans, so it was a common reaction to trying to move extra-drunk Trunks.

Once they were out of the bartender’s line of sight, he threw Trunks over his shoulder and lifted off, flying toward his best friend’s swank apartment on the other side of town. Why was Trunks drinking in that dive anyway? It was pretty close to Goten’s apartment, but Trunks knew that Goten had had a date that night. 

Goten grimaced. The guy was nice enough, and cute, for sure, and they’d had an okay time. Goten’s easy-going nature meant that he had a good time with almost anyone who wasn’t a complete dick. But, as with every other date the past few years, Goten couldn’t find a spark. He’d tried, this time. He’d gone home with the guy and they’d made out a little, but Goten left before either of them had gone below the waist.

Goten decided maybe he should just quit dating. Whenever it reached that point lately, he couldn’t even get it up. He could always get it up if he thought about Trunks, but one word from the _actual_ person he was with, or if Goten opened his eyes and saw them, and the hard-on died like a popped balloon. It was humiliating and frustrating, so Goten never bothered.

Plus, increasingly, it seemed like every time he had a date, Trunks did this. So even if Goten managed to get laid after one of his dates, he would inevitably have to leave in the middle of the night to scrape his best friend out of a bar somewhere. Trunks’s ability to do this on Goten’s date nights was uncanny to the point of pissing Goten off.

Goten made a special effort to ignore Trunks’s chi when _he_ had a date. Goten didn’t need to feel Trunks railing some chick. Goten thought that Trunks was gay, but he never went out with guys. Goten knew Trunks better than anyone, but despite that, he’d never gotten a clear read on Trunks’s sexuality. Maybe Trunks was ace and confused? Or gay and confused? Or gay and didn’t want to tell Goten because he didn’t want Goten to hit on him? Goten would never do that. He was respectful of Trunks not being into him.

Goten unlocked Trunks’s apartment with his own set of keys. Trunks gave him a set as soon as he moved in and said Goten was always welcome. Goten’s heart cramped with the intensity of his wish that Trunks _really_ meant that. Like Goten could come over every day after work, be welcomed into not just Trunks’s apartment, but his heart and his bed and his arms. That Goten could keep Trunks from destroying himself like this. 

Goten flopped Trunks on his bed. As he yanked off Trunks’s second boot, Trunks roused and said, “‘Ten, I jus’…I jus’ love you so much. It’s…it’s breaking my heart when you do it.”

Goten stopped short. He stammered, “Wha…what? What do you mean?”

Trunks lurched upright and clutched Goten’s face in his hands. Trunks’s vivid blue eyes bored into Goten’s and Goten almost yanked himself away from the intensity. Trunks’s eyes dropped though, and before Goten could do anything, Trunks’s mouth was over his as his tongue tried to invade Goten’s mouth. Goten’s moral compass screamed that Trunks was too drunk to consent to this. But Goten’s aching love for Trunks screamed for him to open his mouth, to let Trunks take whatever he needed from Goten.

Goten’s lips parted and he was lost. Trunks’s fingers slid back up into Goten’s hair and pulled them together, deepening the kiss. Goten had never experienced a kiss like this. The hard-on that had gone missing earlier, and seemingly on every other date he’d had in the past year, came roaring to life now. It tried to scoot forward and rub against Trunks who had shifted to sit on the edge of the bed. Goten fell to his knees between Trunk’s muscular thighs. His urge to frot was physically painful.

“‘Ten, you…you’re killing me. I don’t mean to drink like this, but then…I can’t…I can’t take it!” Trunks wept as he pulled out of the kiss and pressed their foreheads together, his eyes searching Goten’s again. 

Goten’s brow furrowed and he whispered, “Can’t take what?”

“I try to block it out and not feel when you’re with them, but…but I can’t and I get…I get so despondent,” Trunks choked out and his eyes squeezed shut, “I want you to be happy, ‘Ten. I want you to find someone…” Trunks trailed off into huge sobs. Goten was about to say something when Trunks blurted out, “But I also don’t. I can’t stand it if you do.”

Goten’s mouth fell open in shock. Years ago, so many years, when Goten first realized he was gay, he and Trunks had sparred until exhaustion. They ended up grappling, unable to even fly anymore. Goten, at fifteen, had gotten a hard-on. Impulsively, optimistically, he had kissed Trunks on the mouth. Trunks yanked out of it immediately in shock. Goten’s humiliation was so deep that he fled, didn’t speak to Trunks for a month, and they never discussed it. Trunks had tried, once or twice, looking so upset that Goten told him to just forget about it, that it meant nothing.

So to hear this now, when they were in their late twenties, kind of pissed Goten off. He wanted Trunks. He loved Trunks. But he had been in the long, agonizing process of getting over Trunks for the back half of his life. And now to find out that his best friend had been actively thwarting his happiness? And to tease him this way, to kiss him and touch him? It was obviously a ploy to keep stringing Goten along forever so that Trunks could always possess him, but not in the way Goten wanted. 

Goten started to speak, but Trunks sobbed out, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.” He crawled onto his bed, and fell face down.

Goten said, “I…Trunks…that…what the hell—“

Trunks snored. Loudly. He was out. Goten shook his shoulder. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Goten shouted. More snores. Genuine snores. “You fucking suck, you know that? You suck hard, and not in a good, sucking my dick kind of way, you know?” Goten half expected Trunks to hear that and to wake and be indignant that Goten would suggest any kind of dick sucking between the two of them. But Trunks only snored.


	2. Dates

Goten waited for Trunks to text him the next day, but Trunks didn’t. Another day passed. And a third. Goten tried not to let his anger get the best of him, but to say that shit to Goten, and to kiss him, and then to just…just…ignore him? It was rude. Trunks was just being a bitch. Goten typed out a million different texts, but deleted them all. It wasn’t fair that he felt like his fifteen-year-old self getting rejected all over again. Trunks started it this time. Goten’s face twisted into a scowl. Of course Trunks ended it too.

Goten gave in to his spite the fourth day and hopped on Grindr. Goten’s body pic meant he didn’t ever want for people interested in him. He set something up with a hot guy who was physically the very opposite of Trunks, but also in every other way that could be discerned from a Grindr profile. An artist with dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and a frame more like Goten’s. A guy who listed his astrological sign, something that would make Trunks laugh until he practically pissed himself.

The Not Trunks and Goten were meeting at a pub around the corner from Goten’s apartment. This time Goten was going to bring him home and fuck the guy into next week. He would get an anger erection if that was what it took. He would fuck the guy so hard Trunks would _sense_ it. Stupid fucking Trunks.

Goten got ready that night and tried to muster enthusiasm. He took a deep breath outside the bar and plastered on his most dashing smile. The man he was meeting looked up and checked Goten out. A matching smile lit his face and he stood. He greeted Goten with a kiss on the cheek. It startled Goten, but he kissed the man back. They settled into an easy conversation, the alcohol flowed, but not so much that Goten thought it would be an issue. What was an issue was the way his phone buzzed almost the minute he walked in the bar. And again every minute or so.

After about forty texts in the first hour, Goten said, making Goku-level puppy eyes, “I’m so sorry, would you excuse me one second, I want to make sure this isn’t some kind of family emergency.”

“Of course, no problem. I’m gonna hit the head real quick anyway,” the man said, gripping Goten’s knee before he stood up.

Goten pulled out his phone, sure that the universe must be in danger again from this level of persistence. But instead he saw fifty-one text notifications all from Trunks. Goten didn’t read them, he just scoffed before powering down his phone. Goten wasn’t going to deal with his drunk friend tonight. Not after four days of silence. Not after the bullshit he pulled the last time. Goten’s heart still felt inside out and charred from that.

“Whoa, everything okay? You look like somebody just told you they ate your dog,” Goten’s date said as he returned.

“Sorry, I’m fine. Just work nonsense and I’m pissed they hit me up after hours like my house was on fire. It can totally wait until tomorrow. I know it’s dick to be on my phone on a date, so I’m really sorry,” Goten said, with his most Goku smile. The sort of smile that won almost everyone over, no matter how much of an idiot he’d been.

“No big deal. Honestly seems like everyone’s on their phones all the time anyway, so don’t sweat it. It’s kind of nice that you even thought to ask,” the guy said with a hopeful little smile.

Goten didn’t know what to say. Now he felt shitty. He blamed Trunks for that too. He wouldn’t be here doing this if not for Trunks’s bullshit. The guy seemed nice and kind. He didn’t deserve to get spite-fucked by Goten because Trunks was a selfish prick. He didn’t want to be a selfish prick like Trunks just because he loved a selfish prick. Goten had nothing to offer the Not Trunks. Goten wished he could be free of his love for Trunks. Free of his longing for it to work. But Goten didn’t want to hurt anyone else just because he was hurt. 

Goten sighed. “Hey…I…I’m so sorry. I should be up front, I’m still struggling with…with getting over someone, and you seem really cool. I don’t want to hurt you, so I just…yeah, I should probably go. I thought I could just use someone for a rebound, but I don't want to do that to you. I’m really sorry. I hope you find—“

“Look, man, whatever, you seem cool too, but if you just want to fuck tonight and call it, that’s fine with me. I’ve had a bit of dry spell and you’re serious hot. I don’t expect anything. So you don’t need to feel bad if that’s why you came tonight,” the man said, his eyelids lowering and his smile quirking up more on one side.

“Oh…uh…okay…so…” Goten jerked his thumb toward the exit and threw cash on the bar to cover their drinks and tip.

The guy stood up and took his hand. “Yeah, let’s roll.”

Goten didn’t even get his door locked behind them before the guy started kissing him. His fingers fumbled down Goten’s buttons and shoved his shirt back off his shoulders. “Damn, dude, I thought your pic was photoshopped, but holy shit,” the man said, his fingertips trailing along all the muscled ridges of Goten’s ripped torso and arms.

Goten smirked and said, “Yeah…I work out…”

“Fuck, I guess,” the guy said and pulled his own shirt over his head. “I’m not used to looking like a fucking schlub, but uh, sorry, I’m kind of disappointing.”

“Don’t say that,” Goten murmured and kissed the guy. He ran his hands over a body that was muscular for a human, but was soft and light and weak compared to Trunks. That was great though. Goten wanted a Not Trunks. Goten needed a Not Trunks. “You look great. I’m lucky, I’ve got good genes.”

“I’m not complaining,” the guy said and kissed Goten more, his thumbs tracing Goten’s nipples.

Goten kissed his date into his bedroom and the guy tugged open their flies and shoved at their pants, their boxers, their socks. Soon they were both naked and for once, Goten’s cock was cooperating. It was basically still hard from Trunks kissing him. Goten forced his mind away from Trunks. It was easy enough when the guy dropped to his knees and took Goten in his mouth after whispering, “Big and hard everywhere…”

Goten ran his fingernails along the guy’s scalp. He forced himself not to fantasize about Trunks, but to focus on the feel of the man’s mouth. The man knew how to suck dick, at least, so that helped. Goten groaned and murmured, “You want me to fuck you?”

The guy looked up and pulled off. He smiled with puffy, wet lips and said, “Can I suck you off first? You’ll still be good to go in a few minutes?”

Goten nodded and said, “Faster than that, your mouth feels fucking amazing.” It wasn’t a lie, but the ache in Goten’s heart expanded and came perilously close to his libido. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back.

The guy went back to work and Goten came with a surprised cry. He hadn’t come with anyone else in so long that it startled him how different it was than jacking off. It felt great. Maybe he could get over Trunks’s drunken, idiotic, mixed-signal-sending ass.

Goten picked up the guy by the back of his thighs. “Oh shit! These aren’t just for show, are they?” the guy said laughing and gripping Goten’s biceps.

Goten chuckled, and that felt good too, having fun with someone. He said, “That was amazing…thank you.”

He laid the man on the bed and kissed over his soft, delicate human body. He sucked the man’s dick until the guy groaned, “Hey, whoa, I, uh, I don’t have quite the recovery you do, so if you keep doing that…”

Goten pulled off and kissed back up to his mouth. He got a condom out of his bedside table and rolled it on, added some lube, and started brushing his fingers over the guy’s opening. The guy writhed and his eyelids fell heavy. “I’m good to go, I’m so horny, you have no idea,” he whispered.

Goten didn’t mind skipping straight to the main event. Having an orgasm with someone else again felt liberating. He eased into the man, who clutched his shoulders, and breathed, “Oh fuck, you are…very big…”

“You want me to pull out and prep you a little? I don’t want to hurt you,” Goten murmured against the guy’s lips.

“No, I just want you to fuck me with that glorious thing,” the man said with a coy smile.

Goten started rolling his hips and was just finding a good rhythm when he heard a blast and shattering glass in his living room. The man startled and wrapped around Goten. “What the hell was that?”

“Goten!?” came a drunken, angry snarl from the living room.

The guy’s terrified eyes met Goten’s and he said, “Oh fuck, do you have a _crazy_ ex?”

“No, well, no. Just…give me a second and—“

The man wiggled out from under him and was already dressing. “Oh hell no, I don’t need that bullshit in my life to get laid—“

Goten pleaded, “Please, just, it’s just my drunk best friend. Two minutes, give me two minutes! He’s developed a bit of a problem—“

“No way! What did he just do, bomb your door open? Fuck that, I’m outta here. I knew you were too good to be true,” the guy said and Goten saw his erection was gone.

“Fuck. I'm really sorry,” Goten said and yanked on his jeans, readying himself to murder Trunks.

The guy hurried out of the room but stopped dead when he saw super Saiyan, glowing, chi-blasting Trunks. Goten facepalmed. The waves of angry energy were almost strong enough to knock Goten down, and the poor human fell over. “What the hell!?” the guy shouted.

Trunks’s eyes fell on the Not Trunks and he said, “Get out! Now!”

“Jeez, man, get a grip, I’m trying. What the hell are you _on_?!” the man said. Goten was almost impressed with the bravery of saying such a thing to an obviously enraged maniac. The man slid along the wall to the destroyed door. He snagged his shoes off the floor and bolted down the hallway toward the elevator. 


	3. Tantrums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a very general reference to the possibility of mpreg, but no details or any actual mpreg in this chapter.

Goten ascended to super Saiyan once his foiled hookup was gone. “You fucking _asshole_! Get out of my fucking apartment! You have no fucking _right_!” Goten hated, absolutely hated, that his eyes filled with tears. He brushed at his eyes, gritting his teeth, and willing his anger and love both to die. He just wanted Trunks gone.

“Why didn’t you answer my texts?!” Trunks whined, dropping to his base state.

Goten didn’t even care that Trunks had lowered his power, he grabbed his best friend by his beautiful, silky, lavender hair and threw him out the shattered window. Goten followed and decked Trunks, who squawked in surprise. 

Goten bellowed, “You jerk! What makes you think you had the right to come ruin my fucking date?! Have I ever ruined any of your dates?! Huh!? You ruin _all_ of mine! All of them, Trunks! Why couldn’t you let me have one fucking date! I just want to get laid!”

Goten flew back to his apartment and his tears broke free. Goten almost never cried, but it felt so unfair that Trunks was hot and jacked and charming and smart and rich and _everything_ , but he was the one drinking himself stupid and ruining Goten’s dates. Goten should be the one doing that to Trunks. But Goten had always tried to be a good friend, no matter how much he _wanted_ to ruin Trunks’s sex-life. Maybe if he prevented Trunks from getting laid for as long as Trunks had cock-blocked him, Trunks would fuck Goten out of desperation.

He swiped at his snot and called his dad to help him fix his apartment before his landlord found out what happened and kicked him out. 

“Hey, Goten! I haven’t heard from you in a bit, how are you?” Goku said, cheerful as ever.

“Hey, Dad, sorry I’m calling because I need a favor instead of calling to be a good son, but Trunks messed up my door and my window. Can you come help me fix them so I don’t lose my lease?”

“Hey, you are a good son. You want to send me pictures and I can pick up supplies on my way over? Why’d he wreck your place? I sure hope he’s going to pay for it,” Goku said, his voice turning dark and menacing.

“He might once he sobers up,” Goten said.

“You okay, Goten? You sound…sniffly,” Goku said, obviously trying to spare Goten’s dignity.

“I just had a bad night,” Goten said. He still hadn’t come out to his parents. He had no idea what either of them would say. 

Goku was silent for a long beat and then he said, “You know you can tell me anything, right, Goten? I’ll always love you. No matter what.”

Goten smiled, but his crying lurched up to sobbing. “Okay, thanks, Dad. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“And…I hope…I hope you trust me enough to let me love you. For who you really are. Okay? I’ll get the door and the window and be over in a bit,” Goku said and hung up before Goten could respond. Goten took a shuddering breath to try to calm down before his dad arrived. At least if Trunks had to destroy his place, he did it early enough that all the hardware stores were still open.

“‘Ten, please, can we talk?” Trunks shouted from far enough outside Goten’s window that he wouldn’t be able to punch him again. He’d have to use a chi attack, and Trunks knew Goten well enough to know he would never do that in the city.

“No. Fuck off. Go away. I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Goten, please…look…I—“

Goten snarled, “No, you don’t get to do this! You fucked up my date, you fucked up my apartment, you fucked up my _life_! I’m just so fucking sick of you being such a whiny bitch about _nothing._ Like why do you drink until you can’t even fucking function at least once a week, huh? Why!? You know what, I don’t even care. Get away from my wrecked fucking apartment, or I will make you get away. I will fucking text _you_ when I feel like I can be civil with you again. Right now, I want to beat you into the pavement.”

Goten didn’t even look at his idiotic best friend while he yelled. Goten was weak for Trunks’s big, blue imploring gaze. Goten always forgave Trunks once he turned those stunning eyes on Goten. Not this time, though. Goten started sweeping up the glass and other debris. He texted his dad pictures. 

On top of Trunks’s nonsense, it seemed like Goku had suspicions. Goten wanted to tell his dad, he did, because he’d never been worried about Goku’s reaction. Goku’s views on sexuality seemed to be nonexistent, as though despite his head injury he still maintained Vegeta-levels of ignorance about Earth’s sexuality norms. 

Vegeta, who basically raised Goten the first seven years of his life, was utterly without a concept of gender and specific sexualities to the point that Goten had seen him crossdress, wear makeup, and knew from an unfortunate attempt to find condoms that Vegeta got pegged, and none of it seemed to phase the older Saiyan or even register as abnormal. Not that Goten thought they were abnormal things, he mentally corrected himself, but they were outside the “accepted” patriarchal roles penning in everyone in their society. 

As a young teen, before even telling Trunks or kissing him, Goten had come out to Vegeta, who expressed confusion over why Goten was worried about it. When Goten explained, Vegeta was appalled. He gave Goten sex advice, lube recommendations, and said to respect himself and his partners and he would always have a good time, regardless of gender roles. He also gave Goten the alarming news that he could get pregnant, and suggested either always topping or being consistent in his condom use, which he recommended regardless, because, as he said to Goten, “Humans are fucking filthy with their dick diseases.”

Goku seemed similarly unaware of the way society treated sexuality, so Goten didn’t much worry about his reaction. Goku had also been all over the universe, so he simply wasn’t shocked by much anymore. Goten always knew he could tell Goku and not be judged. But one thing Goku couldn’t do was keep a secret. If Goten told Goku, he might as well tell ChiChi, because Goku had no filter or ability to keep his mouth shut.

ChiChi was homophobic and traditional. She bothered Goten constantly about her friends’ daughters and basically any reproductively capable woman she saw anywhere. So if Goten told his dad tonight, he would have to be ready to deal with the ChiChi fall-out. The main issue that he didn’t think she would be able to overcome would be the lack of grandchildren, because while Goten could imagine having children with Trunks, letting Trunks top him, and impregnate him, there was no way in hell Goten was going to have a baby with a human. Because what would he even say?

Goten sighed after cleaning up his third dustpan of glass. “Go away, you stupid asshole. Do I need to call Vegeta? Because I will.”

“I’m twenty-eight, ‘Ten, my dad can’t—“

“Beat the shit out of you? Oh yes he can, and he will when he sees this mess. Vegeta would be ashamed of you. Do your parents know the way you’ve been drinking this past year? You need to get a handle on it, Trunks,” Goten said, shaking his head, still avoiding his best friend’s hypnotic eyes.

“‘Ten, no, it’s not like that. It’s not like I’m an alcoholic or something. It’s just…can I come in so we can talk? I’m sorry about your place. I’ll pay to have it fixed.”

“You can send me the money once my dad tells me how much it was. Go home, Trunks. I’m so mad right now.”

“I know…I’m sorry, ‘Ten. Can you please let me explain?” Trunks said, drifting closer.

“One more inch and _I_ will beat the shit out of you,” Goten said and pulled out his phone. He texted Vegeta, thinking about Trunks’s appellations in his phone. In Goten’s phone, Goku was “Happy Dad” and Vegeta was “Mad Dad.” Less than a minute later, Vegeta was berating Trunks loudly and dragging him off into the night while Trunks wailed like a toddler mid-tantrum. Goten wished he’d thought to look at his title in Trunks’s phone. The bartender said it was foreign gibberish. Trunks was brilliant, but Goten didn’t think he’d learned any languages.

Goten stopped sweeping. Except Saiyan. Vegeta insisted they both grow up speaking Saiyan. Goten’s brow furrowed. What Saiyan phrase would Trunks use to describe Goten? Why did that suddenly bother him so much? Goten stared at his own phone. Goten had long ago listed Trunks as The Unicorn, because that was how remote Trunks felt to him. How small Goten’s chance of having him. Trunks’s picture was even modified to have a sparkly horn. He smirked down at the picture as Goku came in carrying supplies.


	4. Coming Out

“Thanks for coming, Dad. I’m really sorry I’m screwing up your evening,” Goten said.

“Oh, I don’t mind. Kinda glad to be out of the house. ChiChi’s still mad about my last training trip,” Goku said, getting right to work on the door. “You wanna tell me what the heck happened with you and Trunks?”

“Oh. Um. Well. So…I don’t want you to be disappointed in me…and I don’t—“

“Goten, you could never disappoint me. You’re a good man and I’m proud of you,” Goku said, but kept his focus on his work.

Goten followed his father’s lead and kept cleaning up debris. “Well…I…um…I probably should have told you sooner, and I guess Mom too, but, um, the thing is…I’m, uh, I’m gay.”

“Oh, yeah, I kinda figured. Is Trunks _mad_ that you’re gay?” Goku said, breezing past the fact that he somehow knew Goten was gay. 

Goten was hardly flamboyant so he said, “No, he’s not mad I’m gay, he’s known basically since I knew. How…how did you know?”

“Well…I didn’t _know_ know, but I smell men on you sometimes, so I figured you guys weren’t just hanging out super close and getting…stuff…on you, you know? You were worried about telling me?” Goku said and finally looked up and his eyebrows crumpled together. Goten had the distinct impression his father was lying. Did Goku actually disapprove?

“Not, um, not so much you…but you…you don’t keep secrets. You know how Mom is…” Goten said, trailing off, refocusing on the broom in his hands.

“Oh, well, yeah, I can see that. But Vegeta said that you can get pregnant, right? So you can still give her grandkids, and that’s what she’s really worried about.”

“She’s used the word ‘abomination’ to describe gay people, Dad,” Goten said, exasperated that his father was trivializing what was likely to be a major rift between Goten and his mother.

“Well…I guess you’re right. Do you want me to tell her or not? I can keep a secret. I don’t, usually, because it seems like a waste of energy. But I don’t have to tell her if you’re not ready. You can wait until you’ve got a serious boyfriend, if you want. She might take it better if you were gonna settle down,” Goku said. Goku worked fast. He was good at carpentry when he had to be.

“No, please don’t tell her. I’ve got enough stress right now. I won’t make you keep it a secret long. Just…I just need to get through some stuff,” Goten said, his eyes filling with tears again.

“Hey, buddy, whoa, what’s all this?” Goku stood up and came over and wrapped Goten in a big, burly hug. Goten had ended up taller than Goku, but Goku trained constantly. He was a big, meaty mass of full-blooded, full-density Saiyan. It was like being hugged by a star.

“Dad…I just…” Goten spilled his guts. He told Goku everything; about the teenage kiss, his trouble getting it up, Trunks’s drinking problem, and what had happened the other night with Trunks. Finally, and with the most embarrassment, the latest debacle. Goten croaked, “I don’t want you to think I’m a slut or anything, because I’m careful. I just…sometimes…I don’t know, Dad, I just wanted to…to…to have some pleasure and companionship without it being a big deal, you know?” Goten sobbed. 

Goku turned toward him on the couch and held him, petting the back of his head. “I would never think that about you, Goten. Never. Even if you did a different guy every night. I don’t care about that as long as you’re not lying or being reckless or mean, and I know you wouldn’t do those things. When did Trunks start drinking like this? You know, like where it’s been gettin’ in the way of _your_ life?” Goku’s expression was a little scary, his mouth a hard line, his eyebrows together, like when someone threatened his family.

Goten thought for a while and said, “Well, I guess maybe it’s been since after he broke up with the last girl he was with, Crystal, I think her name was? I can’t even remember. He goes through girls pretty fast. They were together a long time for Trunks. Like three or four months.”

Goku said, “Trunks knows you’re gay, though. And Vegeta’s always known, so Trunks knows that Vegeta doesn’t care about gay or straight or any of that nonsense, right?”

“Right…” Goten said, unclear what Goku’s point was.

“Well, sounds like Trunks is gay, or bi, or whatever humans call it, and he’s struggling with having feelings for you. I think he’s jealous, but maybe doesn’t want to be gay because of all the weird Earth stuff?”

Goten laughed and said, “No, Dad, he’s not gay. Trunks isn’t homophobic. He would just be openly gay or bi if he was either. He’s never liked guys though and definitely not me.”

“Well…Vegeta said some Saiyans get really intense feelings for just _one_ person. Like they aren’t gay or straight or bi, they’re just…person-sexual. He said sometimes they pair-bond. They mate. And they’re just…it…but it’s not always both directions. Maybe Trunks is like that, so other guys don’t do it for him, but _you_ do.”

“Dad, stop. No. I’ve spent _years_ , fucking _years_ , getting over Trunks. I don’t…I can’t…No. I don’t even want to give any oxygen to those embers. Just no,” Goten said firmly, shaking his head and leaning out of Goku’s embrace.

Goku’s eyebrows came together. “I’m so sorry, Goten. It’s hard to be in love, sometimes.”

“Yeah, like when it’s unrequited,” Goten choked out, starting to cry again.

Goku rubbed his back and said, “It can be hard even when you love each other. Chi loves me but she gets really mad sometimes, you know? She had to decide if I was worth the trouble.” Goten nodded, chuckling through his tears. Goku continued, “And Vegeta and Bulma sure had to work through some problems, and they, well, I mean, you know how Vegeta is, so Bulma had to decide if she loved him enough to put up with all his stuff, or not. She gets real mad at him sometimes.” Goku laughed awkwardly, his hand going to the back of his neck.

“Dad? Why are you blushing?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, nothing. Just. Um, well…yeah. I mean, sometimes you can love someone and it doesn’t work out the way you expect, but it can still work out…” Goku trailed off, turning even brighter red.

“Dad?” Goten said. He thought this evening was going to be him confessing stuff and being embarrassed, but looking at Goku’s flushed, eye-contact-dodging face, Goten thought maybe it was going to be mutual spilling of guts.

“Well…um…just…you know Vegeta’s not…well…he’s…um…it’s, well…I guess while we’re, uh, coming out of the closet…Vegeta and I…for a long time, we just…well…maybe it’s because we’re Saiyans, or because I kinda mix up the feelings of a good fight with…other…feelings, but we, um, we’ve been together a long time,” Goku said and met Goten’s eyes. Goku’s face was so scared and vulnerable that Goten managed to hold in his laughter.

“You fuck Vegeta!?” Goten said, and the laughter escaped.

“Well…sometimes. But usually he fucks me,” Goku said with a little chortle and a shrug.

“Holy shit, Dad! And here I thought you couldn’t keep a secret. Wait…does Mom _know_?”

Goku glowered. “Of course she knows! The four of us all had a sit down once, uh, once Vegeta and I realized what was going on. Bulma and Chi both know and are fine with it. It’s hard to be with humans all the time, you know? They’re easy to hurt and quick to tire.” Goku flushed violet and laughed nervously again, glancing at Goten.

“I love that you keep thinking I’m going to judge you for being gayish, Dad. I’m just blown away that neither me nor Trunks knew. How long?”

“Oh, uh, after Buu, we really kinda put it together during our Majin fight, you know?” Goku said, “But Trunks knows. He’s known forever. I guess I’m a little surprised he never told you once he found out you were gay. Vegeta didn’t tell you because he worried you’d be like Gohan and get all mad about him being with me. Vegeta loves you like his own son, so he said he just couldn't stand it if you blew him off the way Gohan did. Gohan’s okay now, but…it was hard. At first.”

“So I’m the _only_ one who doesn’t know?” Goten said. Now he was pissed at Trunks.

“I really kinda thought you _did_ know,” Goku said, rubbing his neck more, “Until you just told me you were gay like you were afraid.”

“Gods, I feel like a fucking idiot,” Goten said. “Is _this_ why Mom is mean about gay people?”

“Yeah, I mean, a little. She’s not like Bulma. I offered her a divorce if she wanted because she and I are…friends...more than anything, but she wanted to stay married. We don’t, um, we’re not like Vegeta and Bulma. They’re still…involved…that way,” Goku said.

“Are you okay with that, Dad?” Goten said, watching his father carefully.

“Well…it’s not ideal. But I’d rather have Vegeta and have to share than not have Vegeta at all,” Goku said with a little shrug.

“Jeez, Dad, that fucking sucks,” Goten said, hugging his father.

“Nah, I love Vegeta. He loves me. He’s my best friend and I love Bulma too, so it all works out. Like I said, it doesn’t always work out exactly like you _expect_ but that doesn't mean it doesn't work out. Maybe you just need to talk to Trunks when neither of you is drunk or trying to have sex or anything,” Goku said.

Goku’s phone chimed. “Hey, that’s Vegeta. You said that he had to drag Trunks away, right? You want me to see if he’s telling me about it?”

“No, but you can check your boyfriend’s text,” Goten said and nudged Goku with his shoulder.

Goten started working on the window while Goku texted with Vegeta. Goku joined him wordlessly and it didn’t take them long to fix it. It was late though, and Goten could tell Goku was antsy to go. “Go on, Dad, go get Saiyan-fucked. I’m happy for you. You and Vegeta…make more sense to me,” Goten said and gave his dad a hug. “Thanks for talking to me. Letting me vent.”

“You can always talk to me, Goten. I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t,” Goku said, squeezed his shoulder, and left.


	5. Going Away

Goten still had clean-up to do after his dad left. He made the mistake of turning on his phone. He had twenty missed calls from Trunks and more texts. He tossed it in his bedroom and gathered the shattered remains of the door and his trash bin full of glass to take down to dumpster.

Before he made it out of his building, he felt his best friend’s chi approaching. “Fuck,” he breathed to himself, and hurried to get back inside. Maybe this time Trunks would at least have the decency to knock _on_ the door instead of knocking _down_ the door. Goten sprinted up the steps, hoping to barricade himself.

“Go away, Trunks. Fucking hell, how do you not get that I don’t want to talk to you? Take a fucking hint!” Goten shouted through the door as Trunks’s chi arrived. Cash slid under Goten’s door for well over what the door and window cost. “You’re not buying me off, dude.”

“I know. For the damage. And pain and suffering. Please…please let me in,” Trunks said.

Goten ignored him, depending on the beating Vegeta had likely given him to keep Trunks from breaking down Goten’s door again. While that much at least seemed to work, Trunks didn’t leave either. Goten could feel Trunks just outside his apartment, lingering. Goten vowed to remain silent, to not reward Trunks’s bad behavior with attention.

When the first hour passed, Goten wanted to tear out his brain, because Trunk’s chi called to him through the door, like a siren. Goten dug out some sleeping pills, took a few, downed them with the only alcohol he kept in his place (for Trunks, no less), and crawled into bed after showering off the scent of the man.

* * *

It pissed Goten off to no end that when he woke the next morning, Trunks was _still_ outside his door. Goten stomped over to where he’d chucked his phone, picked it up and sent his own fierce barrage of texts that all amounted to, “Go the fuck away.” Goten didn’t read back through the hundred or so texts Trunks had sent. He deleted Trunks’s messages.

He stripped his bed because it still smelled like the man, threw them in the wash, and showered again. He left out his window, suppressing his chi so Trunks hopefully wouldn’t follow him.

When Trunks was _still_ there that evening, Goten began to worry that he was ill or injured or unconscious, so he took a deep breath and readied himself to confront his friend. He swung open his apartment door and said, “You may come in for half an hour and say your stupid piece and then you go. Deal?”

Trunks’s eyes rose up to Goten’s from where he slumped against the wall. He nodded and stood up. Empty bottles clinked around him like he’d made a little glass nest. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He stank in general, but with a veneer of booze. “Jeez, Trunks, you need a fucking shower,” Goten said, “Go home, take a shower, _then_ you can have your half hour.”

“Can’t I just shower here?” Trunks asked, his blue eyes working their magic.

“Ugh, you’re the worst. Fine. Hurry up,” Goten said and waved Trunks inside. He sent Trunks into the bathroom, grabbed him a clean towel, and set a clean pair of sweats and a wife-beater on the back of the toilet.

Trunks peeled off his jacket and shirt and Goten winced to see that Vegeta had _really_ beat the shit out of Trunks. Bruises and cuts marred his bronze skin. Goten also knew Vegeta well enough to know that it was done in the form of training, and probably as a lesson on why one shouldn't get that drunk. Goten sighed and said, “Clean up and I’ll patch a couple of the bleeders for you.”

“Thanks, ‘Ten,” Trunks said in a small voice, maybe a bit on the slurred side. Trunks was unsteady, swaying, he was still so drunk. Goten hurried out of the bathroom when Trunks started shoving down his pants.

Goten waited awkwardly on his couch. He tried to read, but he couldn’t focus. He had his first aid supplies waiting on the coffee table. What he wanted was to run away. He didn’t want to have _any_ conversation with still-drunk Trunks, but definitely not this one. Not the conversation that might ruin their lifelong friendship.

Trunks shuffled out of the bathroom, smelling clean, but boozy. He hadn’t put the tank on yet because several of the deeper cuts still bled. Goten felt terrible now. He hadn’t really meant for Trunks to get beaten up this badly. But Trunks did need to drink less. “Sorry I set Vegeta on you,” Goten said, “But you were being a real dick, Trunks. I can’t believe you’re still drunk.”

Trunks hesitantly sat down next to Goten. Goten could feel Trunks trying to use his eyes to get to Goten. They were so bright it was like spotlights on Goten’s skin. Goten said, “Turn around, you have a bad one on your back.”

Trunks obeyed. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, stop doing what you’ve been doing if you’re actually sorry,” Goten snapped. He tried not to let his fingers linger on the lovely skin that he wished he could touch every day. Every night. He butterflied the wounds and said, “Let me see your chest. You have one there too.”

Trunks turned around, but this time his eyes avoided Goten’s. Goten didn’t know why. Trunks hiked a pant leg up almost into his crotch and silently picked up a bandage and started taking care of the laceration there. He did a shit job. Goten sighed and eased the tape off. “You were never good at this. I’m always the one patching you up, you know that?” Goten said, but he felt softer now, seeing his best friend hurt. Tending his wounds. Caring for him. Goten’s nose stung.

Trunks folded his hands in his lap as Goten finished bandaging his thigh and chest. “Yeah. I do know. Goten…” Trunks said.

Goten looked up. Trunks never used his full name. Trunks met his eyes and held them. “I won’t keep you long. I don’t need half an hour. I…Vegeta’s already mad that I’ve waited this long and he’s mad that I’m here. I…But I told him that I wouldn’t go without apologizing. So…So I want you to know that I’m really, really sorry. For everything. I’ll do better when I get back. I’m going to be a good friend when I get back. I promise.” Trunks’s eyes filled with tears.

Goten’s fell first and he croaked, “Back? Back from where? What? Where are you going?”

“I…Vegeta said he could help me get it under control, but not here. That I would need to go away. He’s going to help me recover. I’ll be better when I come home. I hope…I hope you can forgive me. With time. And…and…if I do better.”

“Do…where is ‘away,’ Trunks?”

“We’re going off-world. Into space. He thinks training is the best way,” Trunks said and scoffed, “I mean, he thinks that’s the only way to fix anything, to get over anything, but I think…I don’t know…I’ve tried everything else. So now I’ll try the Vegeta method. It…Your dad thought this was best too. It was kind of his idea.”

Goten’s heart shattered. The thought of life without his best friend physically hurt. He hated Goku and Vegeta for coming up with this as a solution to Trunks’s drinking problem. Goten growled, “How long?”

“I…as long as it takes, I guess?” Trunks said.

“I can't believe you have to go to space to get over this.”

“It’s just too hard here. I can’t block it out,” Trunks said, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. “I just need…distance.”

Goten shook his head. “Fine. Okay. I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

Trunks stood up and said, “I’ll, um, I’ll send your clothes back with your dad. We’re leaving today.”

“What? Seriously. Fuck. My dad isn’t going with you?”

“No, Vegeta thought that would make it harder on me, so Goku's staying.”

“Wow. Harsh. My poor dad,” Goten said and clenching his fists. It made him mad that Vegeta seemed to be in charge of the older Saiyans’ relationship. Like Goku just had to go along with it.

“Why? He thought Vegeta was right. He was fine with it.”

“I dunno. It just seems shitty to love someone like that and have them be with someone else,” Goten said with a shrug, a little bitter laugh escaped him that both he and his father seemed unable to resist the Vegeta bloodline, while the opposite was unfortunately not true.

Trunks sobbed and held his face in his hands. Goten startled it was so out of the blue. What the hell was Trunks crying about? Probably leaving his precious alcohol behind. His one true love. Goten said nothing, only watched his unrequited love cry, and wished that if he reached out and held Trunks, it wouldn't be so ill-received. 

“Good luck, Trunks. I hope you can stop your bullshit. It just doesn't make sense. You have everything. Stop…pouting,” Goten said. He felt vindictive and mean. It wasn't like him, but he thought back to how nice it had felt to get blown the other night, to thrust into Not Trunks, and how Trunks had ruined it. When would Goten get lucky enough to feel that way again? Especially now that Trunks had finished stomping Goten's heart to a pulp by going to space. By running away. 

Trunks’s eyes were so wounded that Goten wished he could take his words back. Trunks stood and left without another word, his hand over his mouth as he cried more. Goten sat in stunned silence. The more all-encompassing silence of knowing his best friend in the universe was going away to stop him from sniping Goten's happiness. That Trunks had been so cruel in the first place was a deep enough cut, but that he couldn’t even _stop_ without a trip to train in space felt especially hurtful. Why did Trunks want Goten to be unhappy? Maybe Goten had misunderstood their “friendship” for years.

The worst part of his painful rumination was that none of it made Goten _love_ Trunks any less. All Goten wanted to do was sprint after him and fall to his knees and beg him to just…settle…for Goten. To just try. To see. It clearly had never worked out with any of the women Trunks had tried, so maybe…maybe Trunks could at least be…content…with Goten. But no. All Goten could see in his mind was the look of horrified disgust when he had kissed Trunks. No. Trunks wouldn't be able to bear any physical relationship with Goten. Unless he was completely wasted constantly, because when Trunks drunkenly kissed Goten, it felt like passion. It felt like longing. It felt like love.

* * *

Goten assumed Trunks would be gone a few weeks at least, but a couple months at most. When the third month closed, he felt even worse. Trunks wanted to fuck Goten over so badly that he needed _months_ of no one but Vegeta kicking his ass to stop himself. Goten’s stomach hurt every time he reflected on it. An added source of stress was that Goten, when he shared an occasional meal with his parents, could see his father’s misery increasing daily without Vegeta around, although Goten didn't understand why Goku didn’t IT and visit, wherever they were.

Goku clearly missed Vegeta badly, so one night after dinner, Goten asked if Goku wanted to spar a bit. Goku nodded, told ChiChi, who looked smug as she said he could do whatever he wanted. Goku followed Goten into the wilderness.

Before they started, Goten said, “Are you okay, Dad?”

“Oh, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Sure.”

“You’re a really bad liar.”

“I’m just…ah…just a little lonely. I guess. Sort of,” Goku said and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah. Me too,” Goten said with a heaving sigh, “I’m sorry that Trunks is being such a piece of shit that he needed Vegeta to drag him off to space to stop drinking.”

Goku’s eyebrows furrowed. He said, “I think it wasn’t so much about the drinking as it was about moving on. Maybe for both of them.”

“What? Are…are you and Vegeta…splitting?” Goten didn’t understand. When Goku had come out of the closet, it was like his father came into focus for the first time in Goten’s life. It had never before occurred to him that his father was gay, or at least gay for Vegeta, but once he knew it, it explained almost every mystery about Goku.

“Well…I don’t know. He and I had it out a little after I talked with you that night. I’d been frustrated for a while about…Bulma…and I just wanted to at least talk about it, you know? Because we usually just…don’t. It…it stressed Vegeta out and he got all mad, you know how he does. He thought the trip would be a good ‘chance to think.’ So maybe they’re still out there thinking together. About what they want. About what's important.”

“Jeez, Dad, I thought you said you were okay with Bulma and him fucking.”

“I tolerate it and sometimes,” Goku’s eyes widened and he blushed and rubbed the back of his head, “Well. Anyway. I…It’s…It’s not the…that…I just…I think I just wish he loved me the way I love him. In a singular way. I think I probably messed everything up being selfish. I wish I could go back, but he told me not to IT to him, that he wanted time. That he couldn’t think straight around me.”

“Fuck, that sucks. I’m sorry, Dad. I guess maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t meant to…to say that there’s anything wrong with…with it…as long as you’re happy.”

“But I haven’t been. Not for a while. When we were first…together…I didn’t mind because I wasn’t sure if what we had was just…you know…physical. But it isn’t. And…I don’t know. I don’t think it’s really fair to Bulma either. She says she’s okay with it, but she usually loses her shit after we go on training trips.”

“Is that what you call it when you guys just go off into space and fuck a bunch?”

Goku laughed and slugged Goten in the shoulder. “We don’t just fuck, for your information.”

“Oh yeah? Do you suck each other off too?” Goten teased.

“And cuddle!” Goku said with a little chuckle. “I miss that too. We don’t do it as much here because of…complications.”

“Bulma doesn’t let you stay the night?”

“Oh, sometimes. I don’t know. It’s complicated. And Chi is…I don’t know. She’s been all…gleeful…that he’s gone. She keeps saying that she warned me that he would leave me. That he was a villain, all that same old stuff, and it’s getting to me.”

Goten’s heart ached for his father that his idiot, alcoholic best friend had caused all this. That he had perhaps ruined not just Goten’s sex life and love life, but Goten’s _father’s_ sex life and love life. It made him furious. “So what? He told you to just…wait here? Wait and see how _he_ decides he feels? What about your feelings?”

“I…I think I’m just the more in love one, so I’m…I’m at his mercy. If I want him at all,” Goku said. Goku frowned and looked sadder and more tired than Goten had ever seen him in his entire life.

“Fucking hell, Dad. I wish I could kick Vegeta’s ass, because I would.”

“Oh, well, I could if I wanted. But I don’t. Because I love him. It’ll be fine. It’ll work out. Just…” Goku trailed off, his voice getting thick.

“You don’t have to take him back.”

Goku shook his head and finally settled cross-legged in the dirt, giving up any pretense of training. “No. I suppose not. But…” He picked at a cuticle as he stared at his hands in his lap. “I can’t imagine my life without him, Goten. I just can’t. It breaks me to even think about it. And now I’m afraid. I’m afraid I messed up enough that there’s no fixing it.”

Goten had never seen Goku cry. Not once. Ever. But a single tear slipped down Goku’s cheek. He hurriedly brushed it away and plastered a big fake smile on his face. “Well, you want to have a little spar?”

“No. I just wanted to talk to you and Mom’s always hovering. I’m so sorry, Dad.”

The unconvincing smile just looked scary on Goku’s face, which was normally so genuine in its happiness. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’m tough.”

“This isn’t your usual kind of fight,” Goten said.

Goku stood up and dusted himself off. He said, “I just hope that it's a worthwhile trip and Trunks can move past it. That he doesn’t keep messing up your life because of his selfishness. Sometimes you just have to let go.”

Goten wanted to ask more, but Goku said, “I’m going to go train on King Kai’s planet for a couple weeks. Get my head on straight. I love you, son.” He touched his fingers to his forehead, and he was gone.

Goten stood in the chilly breeze and considered just screaming until his voice gave out. Maybe it was just a Saiyan thing to run away when you were stressed. He wanted to find Vegeta and Trunks and ask them just what exactly they were doing being such pieces of shit to men who loved them? Especially Vegeta. He claimed to love Goku, yet treated him this way. It was just unacceptable.


End file.
